dog mom

Dogs too much for me?

Sue Fagalde Lick Chico and Annie, dog mom, too aggressive

I know this is not about babies; it’s about dogs. Again. If I had children who turned big and wild right as I was becoming a single parent, I don’t know how I would handle them. They might end up in foster care. Then again, I wouldn’t be in my 50s, so I might have the energy to parent them properly. Perhaps if I had had children, I wouldn’t have felt so driven to raise puppies. Anyway, that ship has sailed.

With my husband in a care home and his doctor confirming yesterday that he needs to stay there, I’m on my own. I’m grieving and trying to adjust to big changes in my life. I know I’m not thinking straight, but for the first time, I’m wondering if I should find another home for Annie and Chico. The dogs were in the kennel last night and this morning, and it was so peaceful.

When I went to pick them up, I was asked not to bring Chico back. He’s too aggressive toward other dogs. I don’t see him that way, but he and Annie are very rough with each other, clacking their teeth, throwing each other around, banging into the door, the furniture, my knees. I need to acknowledge their half pit bull ancestry. They love me and would never hurt me on purpose, but I can’t handle them both at the same time. Chico can pull me right off my feet. I wish I’d had these thoughts before I approved an $1,800 fence and the posts were cemented in. I love my dogs. They’re only a year old, and they will calm down, I hope, but maybe they’re too much for me.

Of course I didn’t expect them to get so big, and I didn’t expect to be alone at this point.

Even as I pet these big dogs and hug them to me for comfort, they exhaust me. I wonder if I should give them away. I don’t want to separate them. They’re siblings who have always been together. Maybe the new fence, going up tomorrow, will make life manageable. But are they worth the effort now that my life has changed so dramatically? My father says I should get rid of them. He may be right.

Then again, he doesn’t like my stepchildren either.

Uh oh, dogs again

Sue Fagalde Lick dog mom, pregnant with puppies

I know I said I wouldn’t mention the dog who came and went again, so I won’t, but my husband and I just adopted two puppies. They won’t actually move in until Sunday, but we’re excited and scared. Just like parents of humans, I suppose. At this stage in life, I can live without a human baby, but I’ve just gotta have a dog to love and take care of. I’m a dog mom. How many of you feel the same way? Show of hands? That’s what I thought.

We bought a boy and a girl, one black, one tan. They’re a terrier-Lab mix and should be smaller than that other dog, and at 7 weeks they’re already better trained than she was. I’ll post pictures as soon as I can. Oh God, I’m a doting mommy already, and we haven’t even named them yet.

Let’s see, we need puppy food, a car carrier, toys, treats, collars and leashes, trips to the vet, training classes, oh my. What have we done? We’re pregnant with puppies.

Calling Supernanny

Sue Fagalde Lick dog mom, out of control dog, Supernanny

If you’re following this blog, you know we adopted a new dog, Halle, last week. Well, she’s beautiful, gigantic and out of control. Yesterday, I was about to take her back to the shelter, but first I called a local dog trainer for emergency help.
Within minutes, she had the dog sitting peacefully at our feet.

I could almost hear the British tones of TV’s Supernanny Jo Frost as she told me that I have to be the Mama Dog. Who’s in charge here, she asked. The dog. You can’t let her run your life. You have to let her know you’re the parent.

She showed my husband and me how to put Halle in the crate and then walk away, ignoring her no matter how much she barked or whined. Is this not the same as the Supernanny putting the kids on Timeout? Of course it is.

I don’t know if it’s going to work out in the long run with Halle. We hadn’t planned on adopting a dog that needed so much training. Those parents on Supernanny have to reorganize their whole lives to work out their problems with their children. They can’t give the kids back, so they have to do something. That part is different with dogs; we can take her back.

The Supernanny seems to work miracles. However, I strongly believe that at least half of all those families we see on TV waving happily as Jo drives away in her PT Cruiser revert to chaos within a week. Just as the dog and I were battling till midnight last night, despite everything the Super Dog Trainer had taught us. This morning we’re not speaking to each other.

I don’t think there’s that much difference between being a dog mom and the mother of a human child–except that the human child eventually grows up and moves away. Also, the human child rarely eats your remote control.

Sadie’s gone

Sue Fagalde Lick dog cancer, dog mom, losing a child, mothering energy

This has to be short or I’ll start crying. We had to put our dog to sleep yesterday. Sadie’s cancer came out of remission and had reached the point where she was fighting to breathe. It was time to end the suffering. The actual dying was easy, thanks to a kind vet with wonderful shots that gave her her first restful sleep in months. It’s a cliche, but she looked so peaceful. The hard part is facing the empty house. I keep thinking I hear her, that I will see her around the corner, that I need to open the door for her. Last night as I started gathering her food, her pills, and her blankets, I realized this has to be what it’s like when you lose a child, your only child. Suddenly you don’t need all these things, and the center of your existence is gone. Are you still a mother anyway? Am I still a dog mom?
Now all I have to hug is a stuffed bear and a husband who can’t stop crying. It’s time to share my mothering energy with him. While Sadie was sick, I’m afraid I put her first every time, just as I’m sure I would have done with a child.
We will get another dog eventually, but she–or he–won’t be Sadie.